Sleep, where did you go?

Most people know that I don't get alot of sleep, a few hours here and there a night, and haven't since before my daughter was born. It started with being so uncomfortable while being pregnant, I was HUGE! I think all moms can relate to that one, and surprisingly, I am learning, that most moms can relate to the continued no sleep thing.

For me it all started the minute she was born, I wanted to be awake to watch her sleep, then it progressed into, ok, I need to sleep when she sleeps, and then, well, I brought her into bed with us and loved every minute of it.

I would tell my husband, "it's only for a few nights" which became, "I have until she is 6 months old before she really knows what's going on". Ha! The only person it seems that I was fooling was myself. I became that mom who slept with her wee one, napped with her wee one because that was the only way she would sleep, walked with her to get her to sleep and drove with her to get her to sleep. I was the mom who slept with her at night because that was the easy way. Sigh. We put her in a big girl bed at 16 months because I had enough walking the floor (she was getting heavy), the hand through the crib rails, and the sleeping in the spare room thing.

Sleeping with her worked! We both got sleep, mostly. There were good nights and bad nights of course with teething and illness, but I was able to get more then 3 hours straight sometimes. It felt like victory in the sleep wars.

No one to blame but myself, but let me tell you that even though I am sleep deprived, and wearing permanent bags under my eyes, I have NO regrets doing it the way that I did it. On top of that, I worry about the next one, and whether he or she will not get the same love that my daughter received by co-sleeping and all that I did with her. When do moms stop worrying...? (Note - I'm thinking the 2nd time around will be handled a tad bit differently!!!)

Well here we are, 22 months later and times have now changed, as I "laid down the law". I started to think, if I can deal with this 22 month old in a loving parent-child relationship with daytime discipline & lessons, why am I not able to do it at night. So, we have done a slow move to get me out of the room but still be close if she needs me and back into my own bed.

To my amazement and glowing pride, my daughter has handled this change so well. She tests me each night to make sure that, yup, mom is not going to sleep with me, but she isn't out of control with tears and temper tantrums. (So far at time of writing and 6 nights in!)

How awesome and what was I so afraid of anyway in making a change. I have to say that we tried some sleep training when she was in the crib but it was HORRIBLE for everyone. This time it has been way different and not only am I proud of myself but I am incredibly proud of my daughter. Timing really is everything. She was ready, and so was I.

My daughter rocks! Here she is sleeping on the floor for nap time to be closer to me while she feel asleep in the first few days of us changing our sleep habits....

Throughout all of this, and really when I needed the support the most, other momstown moms where there. In person at events and online in our message board sharing their stories of sleep, sleep worries, and successes. How great was that! Friends to cheer me on! There are quite a few sleep threads on the message board that offer support, share information and resources.

That's what momstown is all about and I'm glad that I can turn to the great moms of momstown all the time.